I am currently sitting on my couch with perm rods in my hair on a Monday. Today is President's Day (umm, what exactly is that and why is school out for it?!) and since Caleb can't stay home alone yet, one of us had the hard task of taking this beautiful Monday off. Yes I am basking in this non-celebrated holiday. I am once again, behind on blogging. Nope I will not apologize today because I'm just lazy. No need to apologize for what you are and I am, without a doubt, a lazy blogger. You still love me, though. Right?!
Lets discuss friendships shall we. I have always been that person that knew a lot of people but doesn't roll with a lot of people. I am like Plies in his car making videos. Hes known worldwide but he always seems to be in that car by himself. That's me except I'm not known worldwide, just on the local political boards making racist white folks uncomfortable. Yes that is me! I use to view friendships through the lenses of my 3 best girl friends, Regina, Lucy and Sharisse. They were all I needed and their personalities were enough to where I never felt the need to reach for anyone else beyond them. Regina is the cool one who was a quiet storm, Lucy was the sexy one who knew how to hustle us through anything and Reesie, as I've always called her, is the sweet one who I can call at 2 am to meet me at Waffle House and she would come. Together we have over 20 years of friendship. Those friendships are solid. We have a history that's unparalleled to anything and anyone I've met. They will be in my life for always.
Being as shy and quiet as I use to be, connecting with people on the web isn't a new experience for me. When I first got to The University of Houston, some of my greatest connections came from meeting people on college club, a website that was the Facebook before Facebook. When I found myself connecting with people via the web recently, I was reluctant to open myself up like that. People are not always who they say they are on the web and I didn't have time to analyze anyone's personality. I mean, let me say what I want and lets keep it moving. I always thought the 3 best friends that I had, would be the friendships that would carry me to my grave. Besides, whose still making friends in their mid 30s?! Like girl, log off of Facebook and go get your life together!! I remember telling Reesie one day during one of our many conversations, "Girl I'm too old to making new friends. I don,t even know how to do that!" It was something we often joked about but when God sends you amazing people, you don't question the why. You accept them and allow them to love you and your family.
I remember one day my friend Ashante made a post about people being too woke. Ashante and I had many mutual friends because we went to the same high school and we both experienced the death of our mothers. I commented on that post agreeing with her. It was on that post that I met Jana, someone whose name I had seen plenty of times before in the comments section of the local news stations. Like me, Jana is outspoken about everything but especially when it comes to fighting back against racism. The three of us clicked instantly based off our willingness to say what we feel without a care of who was being made uncomfortable with it. The three of us are mothers, two of us are married but we all understand the stake of us remaining silent in a world that's constantly trying to silence us. Social media has exposed us to the truest form of hate our generation has seen.
I have connected with plenty of people on social media. I've cheered on other's people's children. I've contributed to plenty of go fund me accounts for the loss of loved ones. My classmates and friends Dani and Shawntee have helped me walk through the life of a mom with an extremely shy son. Dani has even helped me when my nephew was struggling with his reading. I've talked marriage with Megan, with her crazy self and Amber, as she is a newlywed and in law school. I've never been so happy to see Victoria, my friend from Sears, and her family move back to Texas and add to their family. I have cried with Tyesha as she announced the passing of her mother, Ms. Fay, a woman I loved dearly. Jennifer and I talk family and natural hair all the time. To see her get into conversations about politics has been interesting. I have called Morgan's son my e-nephew. I just love her and her family. Lori has opened my eyes to a lot of things, including politics. Though we differ in our thinking process, we both want only the best for our country and a city we both love. When Veronica miscarried, Cedrick and I prayed hard since we are also trying for another baby. Trazarra's post always lift my spirits. They are so inspirational. These are the relationships that have formed thanks in part, to social media and being open about sharing our lives with each other.
My friendships with Jana and Ashante though is something deeper than that. Its not just pissing off racist or fighting back against misogyny. Its grief, its raising our children, its marriage, its understanding and love and trust. And we met on Facebook. I've always said that most people are their truest selves online. We can hide behind a computer and let complete strangers into our deepest, inner thoughts without fear of backlash. Obviously there are some who put on facades but who are they really fooling?! Boy/Girl bye! Just a few weekends ago, I was finally able to meet Tay and Jana in person. Oh yes, I failed to mention that we went a year or 2 being strictly Facebook besties before meeting in person. Oh yes I am judging us too. But when we got together, we laughed until 3 in the morning. It was really like meeting up with old friends I've known my whole life.
My friendships are important to me, regardless of how I met them. I don't have to talk to Lucy, Regina, Reesie nor Tay and Jana everyday to know they are praying for me and my family. I know that at any given time, they are only a phone call away. We are all as different as night and day but that's what makes this circle so damn beautiful to me.
Social media can be a blessing and or a curse. I've seen both the beauty and the beast.
Move with caution but always with love.